So yeah i don't know my life is a wonky mess sometimes its up and sometimes its down just like what the title said, i don't have really time to enjoy much or maybe that just me i feel like i am just in survival mode i want to try living mode maybe its just a crazy dream of mine to but things and not look at the price tag anymore maybe in this year or the next 5 i don't know there is a lot of i don't know in my life anymore or the things i think that i know isn't what it really is, i feel lonely sometimes and that make s me vulnerable to decision that are bad as hell i try to ignore it how can thing that connect people so much make me feel lonely i miss my bebe but what i want most is a gang monthly or outings and such maybe i am reading so much stories i mean i want an adventure a real one i want to see and try new stuff yeah i want those and to share it maybe that what i really want to live like really living i am sick of just looking at it at a far i want to do more to my life i want happy memories to look back too not just day to day boring mess those are good too but life should be done to living not just surviving maybe that why i am so sad i feel incomplete yeah i should work on that well this made me feel good thanks for letting me rant here i feel good about this and the next steps i will take.
